Saturday Morning Scorcher

Matt, Pun, Funnyfella, his co-worker Danny, and Danny's buddy did about 30 miles on the twisty backroads of wildwood.

Only 6 miles in, however, Pun took it up a notch. On a twisty tight steep switchback that veered hard to the right (the last turn going down Melrose headed to T/St. Albans), Pun apparently used too much rear brake and went down - HARD. I was ahead and didn't see it but Funkychulla said he slid on his ass for about 20 feet and went over into the ditch.

Bounced up - and rode off. In front of other riders, no less. There were about 50 cyclists doing their morning group ride and the last 10 or so witnessed GORC in action. Pun's shorts were ripped on both ass cheeks for all the hot ladies to see. While I would've raced back home out of sheer embarassment that my bloodied legs and ass were hanging in the air, Pun took it in stride and rode the whole route with us.

Some chicks even dug his crash and small talked at the St. Albans store.

The ride ended 3 hours later after the hills crushed all spirits. Pun and farinella met back at my place and watched several episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force / Robot Chicken / Tour TT. Once 11am struck we broke out the liquor. Several drinks later I was super buzzed. The bottle of Tanqueray and Grey Goose did not survive past 1pm. After they left, I tried to cut the grass but couldn't really see straight and the sun was melting my brain. I parked the mower and passed out in bed till about 6. Woke up and prepped for the Chubb race.

Of course, I was late to the race on Sunday. I was 4 minutes behind the singlespeed class and took off like a bandit. Things were going my way despite the tardiness. I could see the last ones as I sped down the flint quarry. Then I ripped a hole in my tire the size of a quarter. It was over. I taped it up and rode down and quit and went home back to bed. It was a $60 1/2 lap bike race for me.

I made it up that evening by destroying myself at Greensfelder on the sea monkey.

Word to the wise: GreensFELCHER is in the BEST SHAPE you will see it in for a while. As soon as it rains it will be shit again from the horses so ride it now. Dogwood is BUFF is select spots. And you can rail the ridgeback on DeClue. Check it out. And the ticks are low-key still. Save castlewood for your weekday hoo-hahs and visit Greensfelder to get your heart in the explode zone.

Good night.

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